Photo of the Day: View from the Key Bridge
Washington DC.
A lone scull, as seen from the Key Bridge
May 17
May 17
Gratuitous Ducklings
Honolulu, Hawaii. Nothing warms my heart like ducklings, heaps of ‘em, all paddling together in their downy little coats. If I could be any animal in the world I would be a duck. You get to float around, fly if you fancy, and know that one day you’ll make a delicious duck a l’orange. That’s more than most people can boast.
May 14
Photo: A Pool with a View (Argentina)
The outdoor pool at Llao Llao Hotel & Resort
San Carlos de Bariloche, Argentina. View from the outdoor pool of the Llao Llao Hotel and Resort looking towards Nahual Huapi Lake. Cue Meg Ryan in French Kiss: “Oh! Beautiful! Gorgeous! Wish you were here!”
Just Your Typical DC Yard Sale
“Natural Selection” indeed.
Washington, DC On my way back to D.C. from the Maryland Hunt Cup this past weekend, I passed a sign that read “Family Yard Sale” by the side of the road. I pulled over to find this: a patch of grass staked with PVC pipes supporting the maimed carcasses of bootylicious mannequins. Their figures, clad in the spandex of a bygone era, were positioned provocatively towards the street, which is to say that each specimen stood rump-out. Meanwhile, a building across the street bore a Heineken billboard that read “Natural Selection”. Natural Selection my ass! Wait a minute…
After noting the ingenious product placement, a few thoughts popped to mind. Namely, what the hell kind of a family only sells leggings at a yard sale? And then, what the hell kind of a family wants to get RID of these stretchy treasures? And lastly, is it reasonable to buy hideously printed spandex pants with the hope that one day I could wear them to a “Saved by the Bell” themed party?
My verdict was no, that would be the opposite of reasonable, so I got back in the car and left. As you’d expect, I’ve been suffering from buyer’s remorse ever since.
Photo: The Road to Chile
Somewhere along the road between Bariloche, Argentina and Puerto Montt, Chile.
Badass Travel Advice for Visiting Unstable Countries
The Badass Travel Advice Series: Vol. 2.
I gleaned these tips from a conversation I had with a guy in Taipei. I’m not at liberty to disclose any other information about him except that he has traveled extensively in politically unstable countries. Here is some of the travel advice he gave me:
- Choose your hotel room wisely. When in a dangerous country where bombs are a real threat, choose non-western nondescript hotels and request a room between the 3rd and 7th floors on the backside of the building. The less international the hotel is, the less likely it is to be targeted for an attack. If it is attacked, then a room between the 3rd and 7th floors puts you at a safe distance from a ground level car bomb or a rooftop air raid. Furthermore the backside of the building is sheltered from Molotov cocktails that could be hurled from the street.
- If you’re plane is going down, force crap your pants. Why add humiliation to terror, you ask? To protect your internal organs. If you manage to survive the initial impact of a plane crash, you increase your chances of ultimate survival by reducing your risk of internal bleeding. And you reduce your risk of internal bleeding by freeing up your bladder and intestines, thereby creating more soft space for your vital organs to flop around safely.
- Never eat the watermelon. Watermelon is sold by weight, so in order to increase the weight of the fruit, some vendors will inject water with a syringe into the flesh of the fruit. And that water source may or may not be contaminated. No watermelon is worth the risk of a gut-busting parasite.
- Never trust a beautiful woman, especially if she approaches you first. Don’t kid yourself, she’s not that into you. Chances are she’s a spy, a terrorist, or a con-artist looking to marry you for your passport.
The Badass Travel Advice Series: Vol. 1.
Scarf doubling as a ghost costume for Halloween
I’ve come across many different types of travelers along the way. There are the hardcore adventurists, there are the place collectors, there are the extreme backpackers. Though I like to think that my travel style falls somewhere between dirty backpacker and gourmand globetrotter, I always appreciate talking to people with more distinct travel characteristics. But before I embark on an interview series with these fascinating individuals, here are some lessons I’ve learned along the way. Here goes:
Always bring:
- A compass. This may seem archaic in the age of gps and smartphones, but compasses are extremely undervalued. Think about it, you go underground to ride the metro, and then you pop up at your destination station, disoriented as a groundhog on February 2nd, and you’re smartphone either can’t figure out where you are or its dead or its been pick-pocketed. A compass can solve this. If you studied a map before hand and know you need to head north to get to your destination, then you just whip it out and let it guide you. And it doesn’t have to be a fancy compass! The one I have is a cheap plastic keychain compass that came out of one of those 25 cent toy dispensers.
- A wide scarf. A good scarf can serve many purposes: napkin, sheet, towel, sarong, shawl, turban, sling, table cloth, laundry bag, ghost costume (see above) or you know, scarf. It is the single most useful article of clothing you can carry.
- Stationary. Before heading to South America, my mother loaded me down with a random assortment of farewell trinkets, one of which was a small pack of stationary. It turned out to be an extremely valuable gift. Whenever I moved on from a place I would leave a thank you note with my contact info for my hosts. If a tip is in order, this is also a polite way of leaving a gift of cash.
Remember:
- Always hold on to your metro and train tickets. I don’t know how many times I have found myself fumbling around in my bag or in my pockets for my metro ticket in order to exit the turnstile. I’ve learned to always keep those tickets in my front pocket, separate from everything else, for a quick getaway.
- Always carry small bills and don’t be a smart-ass. When I first arrived in Buenos Aires I only had large bills on me. In the taxi my driver asked if I had any smaller denominations, and I, smart ass that I am, asked, “aren’t you a taxi driver? Shouldn’t you have small bills?” He sighed and whipped out the appropriate small bill. Pleased with my small victory, I tipped generously and exited the cab. It wasn’t until he sped away that I realized the note he gave me was a blatant fake. The edges were so jagged they could have been cut with child-proof scissors. A good trick for avoiding this scenario is to calculate your ATM amount withdrawal so as to ensure you’ll receive small bills, or to buy a pack of gum somewhere and break your big bills.
- Not all ATMs are made alike. In many countries foreign cards only work with certain machines. In Japan for instance, very few machines accept foreign cards, though all post offices are equipped with machines that take foreign cards. For that matter, not all ATM dial pads are made alike. In some countries they run from 1-9 and in others they run from 9-1. Don’t mindlessly press buttons assuming a certain number configuration. In Hong Kong I spent way too much time on the phone with my bank trying to figure out why my card was systematically rejected at the ATMs, only to realize I had been typing in the wrong code out of habit.
- Pre-cache maps on your smartphone. When you have access to wifi, make the most of it by loading any maps you’ll need for the near future. That way when you’re out of wifi range you’ll be able to access the maps without incurring absurd data roaming charges.
When in doubt:
- Take a shower. If there’s a shower, and you’re debating whether or not you really need one, take it. You can never know for sure when you’ll see one again.
- Have a shag. If you’re traveling with your significant other and you’re debating whether or not to get a shag on, do it. You never know when you’ll next enjoy a shred of privacy, free time, or decent hygiene.
If you have any tips you’d like to share please don’t hesitate to leave them in the comments!
