10 Things I’m not going to miss about Paris
Today marks exactly one month until my departure from Paris. It’s about to get all bittersweet. But before the sentimental tears start running, here are some things (in no particular order) that I’m absolutely NOT going to miss about Paris.
1) Getting stared at by women in the metro. Yes, women. They glare at me! I don’t know if it’s the blonde hair or the smell of enthusiastic American that emanates from my pores, but whatever it is has their eyes glued to me. And staring back only provokes them into a staring contest. The best defense is a good book to hide my face in.
2) Salads that aren’t really salads but rather a side of duck or pig fat piled high on a single slice of lettuce.
3) Heavy beer and heavy milk. I would just like the option of a light beer and skim milk from time to time!
4) Cigarette smoke. Its the 21st century people. Get with it!
5) Dog shit on the sidewalks. For dogs that get so little real exercise, it’s amazing how much crap they manage to push throw their little digestive tracks. I can’t wait to live somewhere where I can look up and enjoy the architecture rather than look down to protect my shoes.
6) Having to always walk with a man. Paris is a completely different city when you’ve got a man on your arm. You’re treated with respect. Without a man you’re treated as a sex object, or worse, a potential mugging victim.
7) Having to dress conservatively. It’s not like I want to wear jorts, or jeggings, or whatever new jean hybrid trend has hit Brooklyn. I just want to wear COLORS! And summer dresses! And not feel like a tourist, or like a provocatrice. I’m wearing this dress because it’s hot out, not because I want you to check out my ass! I don’t care how ravissantes you think mes fesses are!
8) The complete lack of customer service. Getting anything done around here, from a paint job, to a visa, to a gym membership is an uphill battle. The amount of negotiating and pleading it takes to get anything done in this city is demeaning and exacerbating.
9) The $/€ exchange rate.
10) Pretty boys. I’m so sick of looking at these cherubic little french men. If they are going to insist on acting like such macho little womanizers, they could at least LOOK a little less womanly. Honestly!
All of this is not to say that I’m not going to miss Paris. These are just a few little facets that I’ll be glad to leave behind. Stay tuned for all the things I truly love and will dearly miss about Paris. I’ll give you a hint, goose liver is pretty high up on the list…